Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
