These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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