She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
