Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
