so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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