i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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