Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
