Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
