Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
