Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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