hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sarcasm needs its own font
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You've changed since you got that strap on
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
