sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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