I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
