Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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