Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
