found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
