o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize