OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
