we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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