i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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