so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Randomize
