I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
