I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
