dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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