I wannas sexs uuuuu
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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