I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
