Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
