Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
