Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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