Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
