if i can run in heels then i can drive
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
