Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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