I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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