Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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