he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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