His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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