By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
