how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
