Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
