Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
