Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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