Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
