he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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