You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize