i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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