just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Randomize
