and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
