Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize