i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I could fuck to npr.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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