is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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