Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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