Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
