Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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