Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
