if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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