My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
