hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
