I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize