Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
