what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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