Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
