it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
