He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
did i walk over a car last night?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
