Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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