I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
