Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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