This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
