Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
