weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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