The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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