If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize